backward | forward
2001-10-05��yeah, yeah, i'll get to it.
Here are all my choice away messages, with special added links. Ooooh. There are so, so many more I could have chosen, but it was a ridiculous amount as it is. "militant agnostic -- i don't know and you don't either!" "it takes all kinds." -me "i'm the banana goddess." -chris "life is hilariously cruel." -bender "the big brain am winning again! i am the greetest!" -"futurama" "boy, it sure was awkward when i started puking out of my nose!" -my cousin "i'd like to see jay try to ride a unicycle. is that just cruel?" -brooke "this is the jump, little chinese water torture." -carmen "you're not ward!" -cha "even mr. cracker never counted on silly cheeze." -chris "i build sand castles on the moon!" -chris "is that god?" -chrissy "where's your dickey, bitch?" -my dad (don't ask) "do you always talk to your computer?" "only when the refrigerator's mad at me." -"daria" "dance like it hurts. love like you need money. work when people are watching." -scott adams "embrace your dorkdom, or rail against it. the choice is yours." -brendan fraser "believe me, i laugh at myself. i am perfectly conscious that i am absurd." -dorothy thompson "don't talk to me! i'm on drugs and alcohol!" -nsync parody, "mad tv" "can't talk... eating." -homer simpson "i ask myself that question every day. i want cookies. other people have cookies. where are my fucking cookies?" -erin "she's flat, but i think we can trust her." -mst3k "i hate it when things don't go my way. it makes me so...horny." -"cruel intentions" "i guess html just naturally makes you horny." -mary ellen "i move for a bad court thingy." -lionel hutz "i never had a good grip on the monkees. ... shut up." -jasmine %n is several k short of a meg. "hey, can anybody give me a ride back to my dignity?" -lewis black "i would see jump on every tour date if i got free underwear!" -loni "when she thinks of the mass media, she touches herself." -mst3k "some eggs don't even exist!" -mst3k "it's about to get real nerdy up in here." -melissa, "the real world NO" "bad bad things. bad bad things." -olivia "come visit ozzy at historic ozzyland!" -julie "i went to rock and roll heaven and i wasn't on the guest list." -"empire records" in 1930 there was a nude indoor bicycling race in paris in which each woman's goal was to be the first to orgasm from rubbing on the seat. -useless sexual trivia "the bigger the boobs, the shorter the lifespan." -shari oteri "i have it going on." -principal skinner "in your face, space coyote!" -homer "you're hot to take all we've got/not a dry seat in the house" -spinal tap "just be careful when you squiggle." -dr meyers "matt likes to tease little girls. well, they all like to tease little girls, but matt especially.... like i just realized this after 5 years of following jump, little children." -jasmine "ugliness in a man doesn't matter much. ugliness in a woman is her life." -joyce carol oates "a witty saying proves nothing." -voltaire "fucking windows 98!" -"south park" movie "i wanted to play hopscotch with the impenetrable mystery of existence, but he stepped in a wormhole and had to go in early." -mst3k "yoink dot adios, backslash losers." -snake "darling fascist bully-boy, give me some more money, you bastard. may the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman. neil." -"the young ones"
"or at least most of them." -matt shook