Maybe I should get a private diary that is not linked to a page that averages 400 hits a week. It's a thought.

I wonder if people read my diary and laugh at me. I don't mean, I made a joke and people laugh, or they chuckle affectionately at me because they know me and we're friends, but like, they read it and have contempt for me. I'm not worried about it, just curious. I mean, I can think of at least one diary that when I read it, I laugh at the person who wrote it because they're an idiot. I can think of a few more diaries that I don't like reading because they creep me out, but sometimes I just have to read them. And yes I have personally met all these people. I just had to get a little Harriet the Spy on y'all there.

I feel the need to go to the zoo, but going to the zoo by yourself is lame.

I wish it was time for lunch, because I want to go to KFC.

Matt thought that quote by Carmen ("look you skinny little bigheaded chicken eatin' cupboard buildin' freaks! NO FRILLS! just play.") was all about him. What an egotistical bastard. Ha, I kid Matt. I guess he missed the "s" in "freaks". I know I do that all the time. When Carmen comes back from vacation she will kill me, I bet. But he liked being called that. He is such a sucker for attention, good or bad. Oh, I sound like one of those name-dropping diarists who are jerks. Sorry.

I hope my Kristen Hersh and "Paul's Boutique" CDs get here today or tomorrow. Then I can be a cool person who listens to cool music. Then I will truly have a fulfilling life. See, that was a joke.

More wisdom from Julie:

"Chitty Chitty Poontang." That would be the greatest name for a porno ever.

I'd like to have a bunch of people's love children. Well, not actually have them. Just like, practice.

I wish I could get off on gum and ice. [about Dentyne Ice commercial]

In a white room/ with black turkeys/ in the blizzard. [making up Cream lyrics]

It's the worst boner I've seen all day. [on George W. Bush footage on "The Daily Show"]

I would smile like a doughnut for you. [on Hugh Jackman]

Asteroids are just God's turds.

It's thrustoriffic. It's thrustastic. It's thrustalicious.

Pieces of ass-garbage. [on groupies]

(I don't put down everything she says, just some of it.)