(I also wrote another entry today, so don't miss it if you're obsessive about this sort of thing like I am.)

See, that's why I don't like IE. You press Delete a certain way and it takes you back to another page, and your form you're trying to fill out is fucked, because when you go back nothing's there. Shit. You think I would learn not to use it.

Anyway, this entry is dedicated to my best friend Julie and the things she has said. These are from Quote Book #8, 5,749 - 6,423. I don't think she minds if I post these, after all most of the people who read my diary already know who she is and have communicated with her, and besides she is too funny and I bet she likes the attention. If not she knows where to find me.

(Fuck, I can't believe I have to type these over.)

Someone took the time to paint M's on their turds.

I love these people. They're so beautiful. I'm gonna cry.

[to the tune of "I Feel Good":] I feel good/ Penis penis penis penis.

He's got stuff? Well, most rock guys do.

Batman, stop talking to me. I don't want to date you.

[Minnie Driver] reminds me of, like, a chipmunk horse or something.

Hey, dude, Gene Simmons called, he wants his tongue back.

He has his moments of "Hey baby."

I saw myself in these pants and I had to kick my own ass.

Big honkin' Dokken.

It should have been downhill from the beginning.

Laughing all the way to the bathroom.

He [Justin Timberlake] looks like Screech and Fred Savage's love child: Screech Savage.

Well, the point of being in a band is to get laid.

If I were Freddie Mercury I'd come back and kill everyone.

It's my song! It's my song! It's beautiful!

[To Emily] Lemme check inside your pants and we'll call it a night.

Treat me bad! Bad! Beat me with your guitar!

Well he does gyrate all the time, he must have some pretty good muscles in that area.

Smells Like Teen Ass.

Stairway To Ass.

Listen: "I'm Jimmy Page! I kidnapped Julie!" See, that was him.

Beep beep. It's the ho train. Get off.

I would be so pissed if I were deaf right now.

Chocolate-covered brass knuckles.

[Kirk Hammett] He's all pretty and tiny.

I have bears in my car.

Mmm. Chickalicious.

[Chupa Chups] You like to eat them and lick them.

If I were in a band I'd wear my own shirt.

I like big tongues and I cannot lie.

Oh, I'm all David Bowie and I'm all pretentious and stuff.

He seems like such a wholesome gynecologist.

Between fucking groupies and singing on stage he doesn't have time to wash his hair. Like he can't have sex in the shower!

Hey hey I'm the monkey.

Some quotes are for Anne's personal private use.

[to no one in particular] Eat me with your big throbbing tongue!

You whiny punk ass.

He's masturbating next to the Weinermobile.

Horny horniness.

Tongues, tongues everywhere! Especially in cartoon land, because everyone has a Gene Simmons tongue.

If anyone else says anything about my damn pantyline I'm going to cut their nuts off. [MST3King Zorro movie]

I wish I could be all orgasmic about being rude to people. [watching the "Friends" where Chandler just can't NOT riff on his friends]

So, do you guys get a stiffy when you're, you know, having a bunch of chicks watch your crotch in the audience? [theoretical questions for band guys]

Look, it's my rockin' ottoman, to go with my rockin' chair.

Sting Sting Sting, why don't you do me with your thing.

Unable...to...deal...with tongue...in back of skull.

How sucky is your life if you're "the ugly Brian May"?

As your hair gets darker you get smarter.

I'm gonna go suck popsicles somewhere else.

When I was little I used to talk to the Mrs Butterworth bottle. "Everyone's gone. You can talk to me now." And that was last year.

Look at my codpiece. I demand that you look at my codpiece.

What are you mailing in, boxtops from Jump, Little Children the cereal? Jump, Little Cereal. With extra stuff to make you jumpy.

He's so fuckalicious.

We sound like two perverts on the phone. [Me: We are two perverts on the phone.]

He was in denial. "Yeah, we don't have problems with showering and groupies. Or showering with groupies."

Then he meets this chick and she's like, "Heyyyy. I like my nerdy men very androgynously gay." [on "Pretty In Pink"]

Those balloons are fucking.

My dog dog huh. [mistype on IM]

A dog with arms, I can just see that.

Yeah, that would be the stunt cello. We've discussed this before.

I've become one with my inner Beavis.

Don't touch things that are as big as you. A good rule of thumb. [watching The Crocodile Hunter]

I can see Gavin Rossdale's feet jammed up my butthole.

It makes his name sound all phallic. [on Jay's real name]

I feel embarrassed for the Monkees.

Dammit, remember when you were a little kid and I was hot? [as Obi-Wan, to Darth]

Ew, hippy lips!

Oh god, there's nothing worse than Pat Boone.

I'm going to cry-pee, from laughing.

You're screwing up the Beatles and I can't see them right.

It's a good thing I was getting off while I fainted.

It's always creepy when the drummer sings.

Most guys in bands look like homeless people.

I have great big hooter boobies.

He was twelve doughnuts short of a dozen.

The guitar's in the way!

You'd have to be here to see my raging boner.

That's what I need, a mindless oaf to do my bidding.

It's Spingo, the Spanish Beatle.

And she's like, "Oh Elvis, you make me so wet."

I wish I had a Roger.

Oh my God, he looks like Freddie Mercury! [on James Haven, Angelina Jolie's brother]

I'm trying not to drop the phone into the Steak-Umms.

And the name of this song is, "Why I Fucked Everybody In Jump, Little Children." ...It is funnier with "all the members."

I always wanted to be in a band just so I could play with boys.

Oh my god, he's spanking her! This is the greatest thing I've ever seen! [about an Elvis movie in which he spanks a girl]

I should come up with songs for AC/DC.

Handjobs aren't as fun as Space Mountain.

I don't think I can pull my pants up now.

Emily's putting her hands on the TV and yelling at Elvis. Yes, Emily, that's Elvis and his pelvisy Elvisness.

I like pretty bacon.

Yeah, like Wolverine would go to Birmingham.

Look at my penis-guitar. [making fun of guy on VH1]