There's a weird gravity to this; it's different somehow. In the past few months I'd taken a lighter attitude to the role this band plays in my life. But after these most recent three shows there's been a reminder of how things are always surprising me and always changing. I tend to invest perhaps too much philosophical symbolism in them sometimes, I think, but it's interesting.

The thing about these particular shows is that they went so smoothly. I couldn't have realistically planned it better myself. I had surprises. I had moments of chagrin that went with the flow. It went so nicely I have to marvel at it a little.

Okay, so hopefully not everyone has been driven away by my pretentious rambling.

The thing about Friday's show is that it was my 50th. I kind of wanted a big deal made out of that. Now do realize that I am aware that many people have been to more than 50 shows. There are two important factors here for me -- the fact that I have no car and don't drive and that I usually give up on things after 6 months or so, and this has been going on for three and a half years.

So after I got off work early, and watched my tape of Midsomer Murders (featuring Orlando Bloom as a hot burglar/male prostitute) Allison and Lauren Huff and Jenna Parker arrived and off we went to Birmingham, although making sure to stop at the Super Wal-Mart in Douglasville to get candy.

We found the venue and went inside the adjoining bar/billiards area, where I saw a lot of people I knew. That was great. That never gets old. Tickets went on sale and eventually all of us made it upstairs. Shannon bought me a Killians. The venue had a low ceiling and was small, and it basically sucked. Luckily, Jenna was the merch girl and she let me stand on the bench behind the table with her; we leaned against the supporting bar running along the window, and occasionally I looked down out the condensation-coated windows to the street below.

I couldn't see much on stage so I missed Ward's terrible jeans, luckily, but his Julius-as-KISS shirt was cute. It was fun being up there.

I wondered if anything would be said about my 50th show and figured that I would probably hide under the merch table, should the subject come up. Well, it did and I tried to. Matt announced it and I got a big cheer. I got a shoutout wherein my website address was spelled correctly *swoon*. And people, in what is one of my most surrealistic Jump moments ever, "Pink Lemonade" was dedicated to me, AND my name was put into the song. Y'all. This was the song that got me back when I first saw a real Jump show. I felt like such a dork but it made my knees weak. I did not expect anything quite like that. I'm still not quite sure it happened.

My cup runneth over with shoutouts; I think I'm set for a while.

Ward did the new cell phone trick, which I think is just great. The Rondo Alla Turca (sp?) part was my favorite. He segued into "Crazy Train" but couldn't sustain the high notes. Heh.

After the show Ward walked up behind me and thanked me for coming to 50 shows, and we talked briefly about Lord of the Rings (we've both seen "The Fellowship of the Ring" twice) and Evan congratulated me on my 50th birthday.

And Matt. Matt told me in dead serious tones that he had faith in me and expected great things from me. Which puzzled me because all I've done is made a website and been to 50 concerts. I don't see that as particularly indicative of greater trends to come ;) so I can't help but wonder if he's being sarcastic. I think that's a safeguard though, and I'm just assuming that in case, because it would really make me sad if he wasn't serious, if that even makes any sense. God, isn't it great having shaky self-esteem? Matt wasn't as sweet as usual this weekend; he had an edge to him that was just visible on the periphery. Rowr.

Also Matt claimed ignorance when I told him that "Pank" was the first song to get me, but I was still kind of in shock so I can't remember if he looked like he was lying. Heh. He just pointed from my brain to his. "Big brain," I said, just for the hell of it. Regardless of deliberation or lack thereof, it was a lovely occurence.

So then we girls along with two hangers-on who didn't have a place to stay went to Natalie's sorority house at Birmingham Southern (beautiful campus) to sleep. Not as exciting as it sounds because it was basically empty (thank goodness). We slept in a common room that had folding chairs, couches (fold out bed, woo), a piano and lollipops. Natalie was in a nearby dorm. She was very gracious. We slept there of a fashion and next morning took showers in Natalie's dorm. It's so good to be clean after a night of smoke and sweat and fitful sleep.

Off we went to Chattanooga. It was hard to find a place to eat, in the hills of northern Alabama, but we ate at a Subway. It was a beautiful day, as Bono has said. Once we got there, we found the venue, tried to avoid the Park N Fly, and went to a nearby candy store. We did a lot of waiting outside of the venue. It was quite cold. We watched the guys walk down the sidewalk to go eat, and everyone watched them. Later Michelle Kemp and I wandered around looking for dinner and went to Panera. I met Janel Strandgen who had had many tumors removed recently and was in some pain, and was going to attend the second show. She kicks ass. I saw more people I knew, and the crowd grew, and we went inside and sat on stools behind the soundboard.

The first show was a lot of fun. I can't remember too much of it because it was kind of overshadowed by the second show. I can't remember what we did after it was over, but we ended up going with Dave and Michelle to the Thai place next door, where certain other people were as well (Manashi, you beeyotch ;)). We had a fun time being dorks with our Sweet Smile Chicken, eatin' off the serving plate like rednecks.

The second show was 21+, and the girls went through various things trying to get in. Dave pretended to be their dad only to abandon them outside when it didn't work ;)

At first I sat on a padded bench with Michelle K. and Manashi, but later Allison Hayn and Angel let me stand up with them on the chairs behind the merch table, at least before we got kicked off by the security guy. I was all over the place for that show, and never in front. I wasn't in front for any of those shows and that was better than it usually is.

It was a very high energy show -- I've rarely seen them like that -- and I jumped for two straight songs. I haven't done that in so long that my legs, calves specifically, are paying the price even yet, and the Advil is kinda spacing me out here. But yeah, this time Ward played "Enter Sandman," and they played "Lannigans," and a very fast "Opium."

Meanwhile the girls had been able to get just inside the lobby, and were "rocking the doorway." They had a nice side view of everyone's asses so they were happy. They had gotten in by A) talking the door guys' ears off and B) actually giving ticket money to some passersby who were wondering if they should see the show. Y'all better respect that shit. Woo woo, that's love.

I talked a little to the friend who'd been with Lauren Duffie in the bathroom at the UGA show, who recognized me even when I didn't really remember who she was. That was in AUGUST, people. Lauren was on tour and won't be back til the end of March. Perhaps that explained Matt's edge. I also saw my Michelle Rodems in the restroom :)

Matt brought Adam DeLoach over to me (Matt said in B'ham that he'd talked about me to him at a recent TN show) and chuckled as Adam picked me up in a big hug. We'd never met before.

We all finally went outside, where there weren't too many people anymore. Out on the sidewalk, I was overcome by enthusiasm and ran a little towards Matt, who picked me up against him in this weird... hug... thing that I can't really describe but am definitely not complaining about.

Having nothing else to do, the three girls and I sat on the brick "thing" by the street near the PNF and watched everyone pack up, while laughing the laughs of giddy exhaustion. We tried to talk about Gandhi. We watched Ward go nuts trying to move the equipment, pushing it over, screaming exuberantly, and whatnot. The girls told the band about how a lady walking past them while they were waiting outside asked if they were related. The Huff sisters were like, yeah, we are. The lady clarified: "Are you the band's kids?" So after hearing this Ward began calling them his daughters, which creeped them out, and Evan came up with a disgusting typically Evan theory which I will spare you, and Matt said "Who's your daddy?" which is something that everyone should hear him say at least once if you ask me.

So we left at a great moment -- not anything in particular, it just felt right to leave then -- and went home. I was sleeping in the car but once I got home I didn't get to bed til 7. My mind felt just delicious. Oh, the endorphin rush and the messed-up sleep. I love that. That's why it's so hard to even contemplate really leaving.

In summary, everything had the right amount of joy and the minimum amount of sketchiness. It was very peaceful somehow. I was really grateful for it. I don't know if I'm getting it across. I actually feel like I am cheapening it by typing it out, but I have to record it. I didn't put everything, because who knows who'll be reading this ;) But let's just say I have quite an increase in my affinity for someone, for better or worse.